I don’t really have anything else to say – you mustn’t have a lot going on. Anyway, to avoid all the boring Christmas chat you can talk to the Website. What the Website says is below and I bet it’s a seemless conversation.
Oh Hey! How are you?
Good.
Yeh I’m fine thanks.
How was your Christmas?
Oh that’s fun. I just got drunk and played Monopoly for 16 hours. What did you get?
Eurgh why do they always put their penis/vagina [DELETE AS APPROPRIATE] in a box every year as a present?
IF YOU SELECTED VAGINA
It’s weird because you’d think it would be difficult to put a vagina in a box but she can because flaps.
Oh sorry I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I’m just saying that if they make another reboot of Dumbo then her fanny is definitely up for the starring role and her pubic lice could the weird mouse ringmaster.
Yeh that film is strange. But now all I’m imagining is Dumbo being part of an entire genital circus. Hang on there’s got to be a porn parody, I’ll be back in 5…
…turns out there was exactly as much beastiality as you’d think. 6/10. Anyway – how’s the fam?
IF YOU SELECTED PENIS
I know I remember you saying it’s so small he has to use a ring box then he cries and eats Hula Hoops non-stop all day.
Haha yes he could throw the Hula Hoops on his tiny wanger like a gross ring toss. Maybe I should tell dumb shit Ryan to make that a task?
Oh ok I won’t do that then… good idea though… probably will tell him…probably will be the entire evening… yeeting HHs (said Hula Hoops too much) at a fat man’s todger*
*The Website recognises this isn’t accurate if Tom turns up because because he is a skinny bitch and therefore cannot be trusted
Anywho – congrats for reading this far and the first 4 people to tell dumb shit Ryan the secret word via WhatsApp or, preferably, moistly whispered into his ear will get a bonus point
The Secret Word is Genital Circus
Taskmaster 2025 